Good friends are good for you.
“Good friends bring so many colors of happiness in your life Stress Relief, Relaxing, and relieving loneliness, “says Amber O’Brien, psychologist at the Mango Clinic in Miami, PsyD.
where to make new friends
Mahesh Grossman, a 62-year-old hypnotherapist and owner of Berkeley Hypnosis in Berkeley, CA, has made many friends over the years by joining a peer leadership note groups, 12-step groups and church groups.
“Everyone goes to dinner after the meeting. I know him a little bit in restaurants. Then I try grabbing a one-to-one meal with several members within the first few months, “Grossman says.” This ultimately leads to a friendship with some of those people and more comfort with the whole group “
You can find new friends when you:
Join a group or club. Find a local group where people with interests like yours meet regularly. Try a book club, religious group, parent visit music Group, or biking group. “The key is the fish in the right pond,” Grossman says.
take a class. Sign up for a class at your local college, senior center or gym. Learn Italian, dance, or learn a new card game. When you are interested in the subject, you may find people who share your passion.
View locally. You might be surprised how many events are happening in your community. Look in your local newspaper or community bulletin board. Go online for neighborhood listings. Search for the name of your city and the words “social network” or “meetup.”
Volunteer. People working together often form strong relationships. Meet people who volunteer with a community center, charitable group, hospital, museum or place of worship.
Join a social circle. The easiest way to meet people is to surround yourself with people who have large friends groups, says O’Brien. “You may already have people in your life who have lots of friends,” she says. Join them when they invite you. Ask for introduction. Take the first step and start a conversation with someone new.
Make friends online
Making friends online may seem easy because you can find people around the world who have similar interests. If you are an introvert, online friendships may feel more comfortable.
But if you live in different areas, you cannot easily meet or meet in person. And online friendships can be imbalanced, where one person has more emotional attachment than the other.
“Making new friends online is nice and fascinating, but it can be challenging,” O’Brien says. Try to set healthy boundaries to avoid problems.
How to start friendship
Friendship takes time, but you can take steps to awaken a relationship and nurture a connection.
Say yes. When you are invited to a gathering or event, accept the invitation. Return the favor by inviting them somewhere. Extend your own invitations and ask a friend or acquaintance to have coffee or lunch.
to initiate. “You don’t need to wait for someone to reach out to you and make the first move. Instead, be the kind initiator, even if you’re an introvert,” O’Brien says.
Start a conversation When you’re with someone you want to get to know better, start a conversation. “Share something about yourself,” O’Brien says. “Likewise, let them share about themselves.”
show interest. Even if you are meeting someone, you can make them feel comfortable by asking the right questions and being a good listener. Ask open ended questions. Encourage her to open it by saying things like “tell me more”.
smile. Make eye contact and smile. “Smiling while maintaining eye contact will have a positive effect on the other person,” says O’Brien. They will feel more comfortable and interested in the conversation.
Share. As you get to know each other, try to share smaller but more personal things about yourself. “If you’re open with them, it allows them to be open with you,” Grossman says. But don’t go overboard. Take it one step at a time.
Do a little favor. Small acts of kindness often lead to intimacy and connection. It does not have to be big or clear; Just a small gesture creates a feeling of good vibes.
Let it go on When you meet someone, exchange the number. Call or message them later. Ask if they would like to get together again. “Keeping in touch is important,” O’Brien says.
what can not
Avoid these common mistakes:
Don’t change who you are. Don’t do different tasks just to get fit. “Always be yourself, genuine and honest,” says O’Brien.
Don’t boast. Boasting has a negative effect on people and can be a turnoff.
Do not be too aggressive. Too loud can make people go away. Ease into friendly conversation before suggesting meeting for a coffee or a run.
Do not expect instant results. “It takes time to establish a strong bond between two people,” O’Brien says. “Do your best, but keep your expectations low.” Research suggests that it can take 10 to 15 conversations before feeling like friends.
How to know when you are friends
Signs of a new friendship include:
- The other person starts taking the initiative and calls or messages you.
- You feel comfortable and natural with them.
- You do not hesitate to share or do anything in front of them.
- You respond to them with empathy, and they do the same to you.
“First, there is the stage of being there, where they do something to show that they value your connection. They start texting you or inviting you to something,” says Grossman. Eventually, you become hangout friends.And then, over time, you keep in regular touch and feel like true friends.